As humans, we have a natural tendency to focus on the negative, due to the brains “negativity bias”. Our brain & nervous system is designed to keep us safe from harm, so we unconsciously protect ourselves by remembering anything which we experienced as frightening or harmful and to let go of the positive, which is considered irrelevant as it’s not necessary for survival.

Overtime, it means our thought patterns, left unchecked, focus on the negative and we may catastrophise situations. Our brain is not always able to distinguish clearly between imagination and reality which can leave us on high alert.

A first step is to notice if we are creating stressful scenarios in our minds. If someone upsets us, we may imagine never speaking to them again, or leaving our partner or even a child, but if we can see that this is not our deepest feeling, and simply perhaps a response to the hurt we feel, we can de-escalate our emotions & let ourselves soothe whatever lies underneath.

This is a way of engaging the more logical areas of the brain, in order to rationalise and explore the feeling realms. By practicing this sort of awareness we can become more skilful in our lives with how we approach difficult situations and people we may find tricky.

Over time our cells respond physiologically to our thoughts, cells adapt to be receptive to the hormones released in response to our thoughts, so that our physical body reflects our emotional state. Those with chronic stress have lower health outcomes across a range of parameters. By simply taking steps, even small steps to curtail stress levels will improve mental & physical health outcomes.

Affirmations & low self esteem

Affirmations link directly into our ability to shape our thought patterns, so that over time a more positive way of thinking becomes natural. If you have really low self- esteem and if feels really disingenuous to use positive affirmations, then work on self-esteem first. Exploring why & how this came about, perhaps with the help of a therapist. Most of our deeply held beliefs are rooted in childhood, sometimes even before any conscious memories formed.

You could also perhaps, find one thing about yourself you like or love. Let this thing become your affirmation. Perhaps you have a friend and you can think of what they appreciate about you, and let that be felt & affirmed as a positive.

When to use affirmations

You can use affirmations in any situation where you'd like to see a positive change take place in your life. These might include times when you want to:

Raise your confidence before presentations or important meetings.
Control negative feelings such as frustration, anger, or impatience.
Improve your self-esteem.
Finish projects you've started.
Improve your productivity.
Overcome a bad habit.
Or to cope with anxiety

Emotions

Affirmations are most effective when we allow ourselves to deeply feel the meaning of the affirmation, when thought & feeling come together it has a deep impact on the neurological structures, hormones & even the immune response.

By feeling and becoming familiar with one or two affirmations we recruit new neural pathways, and the benefits increase over time. Until little by little we have reframed our whole experience.

Evidence suggests that affirmations can help you to perform better at work. According to researchers, spending just a few minutes thinking about your best qualities before a high-pressure meeting – a performance review, for example – can calm your nerves, increase your confidence, and improve your chances of a successful outcome.

Self-affirmation may also help to mitigate the effects of stress. In one study, a short affirmation exercise boosted the problem-solving abilities of "chronically stressed" subjects to the same level as those with low stress.

How to use affirmations

What's more, affirmations have been used to successfully treat people with low self-esteem, depression, and other mental health conditions. And they have been shown to stimulate the areas in our brains that make us more likely to effect positive changes in regard to our health.

The power of affirmations lies in repeating them to yourself regularly. It's useful to recite your affirmations several times a day, maybe when you wake up, have a reminder on your phone/ next to your bed & when you go to bed. Try to remember when you make a cuppa or go to the loo! Or set them to pop up in your notifications- if that’s not too annoying?!

You also need to recognise your tendencies for negative thoughts/ behaviours, so that you can repeat your affirmations as a way to retrain your habits. If this feels fraught with self blame, perhaps repeat- “I’m going to just practice retraining my human brain, I’m just practicing & it will get easier ”

This latter study suggests that a stronger sense of self-worth makes you more likely to improve your own well-being. So, for example, if you're worried that you eat too much and don't get enough exercise , using affirmations to remind yourself of your values can spur you on to change your behaviour.

Affirmations are also useful when setting personal goals., once you've identified the goals you'd like to achieve, affirmative statements can help you to keep yourself motivated.

Examples of Affirmations for anxiety

Be realistic if you feel just a little safer, this is enough. Acknowledge this.

“I am feeling a little safer”

“I am safe, I am held, I am nurtured”

“Right in this moment now, I am OK”

Examples of general Affirmations

If you have set specific health goals affirm these.

“I am able to exercise/ eat well/ nourish my body”

“I am strong”

“I feel my energy coming back”

Visualisation

To Affirmations work particularly well with visualisation. So, see yourself making the changes you affirm & embody how this makes you feel. Make your visualisation as detailed as possible, if your affirmation is “I feel more confident” see yourself more confident in different situations, at work, or with the family, how do you feel, what are you wearing, how do you hold yourself etc.

You can also write it down or say it aloud using a positive affirmation.

When dealing with anxiety, create an image of a place where you feel safe. You may find that last thing at night or first thing in the morning when you’re tucked into bed this comes quite naturally.

Then you can visualise your bedroom and how safe you feel there. And at the same time, feel the feeling of being more safe. And affirm this “I am feeling safe/ or a little safer”. Recognise what this feels like, and then you can recall this feeling, affirmation & scene at will at any time you are struggling.

If you feel anxious about a specific event like a job interview, instead of thinking negatively, you could imagine the interview going well, picture yourself talking confidently, easily describing all of your past achievements. Infuse the visualisation with feeling- the feeling of pleasure or relief it went well.

Visualisation offers several benefits:

Visualising outcomes that you want can increase your confidence. "Seeing" yourself succeed helps you believe that it can – and will – happen.
Visualisation helps you "practice" success. When you imagine every step of an event or activity going well, you get your mind and body ready to take those steps in real life.
Anyone can benefit from visualisation.

Practice daily

Our neurological structures change over time with repetition so practice your affirmation, visualisation & feeling every day. A few times if possible. Even if only for one minute.

This means you will slowly but surely be creating positive and lasting change to how you think feel and experience yourself and the world around you.

As Milarepa (a famous buddhist) said “At the beginning nothing comes, in the middle nothing stays, in the end nothing goes.”

So let’s get to it and practice!